A Letter to the Masterminds behind the Rainbow Loom


This letter is to the designers and fabricators of the ever popular Rainbow Loom.

First off, thanks for taking a break from rolling around in the piles of money that you made during this past year to read this letter.

You successfully marketed a product under a seemingly benign campaign of “inspiring a child’s creativity” in such a way that every little girl I know owns one of your looms. Parents felt obligated to purchase one of your looms because, surely, they did not want to thwart their child’s creativity.

Oh sure, they all played with the loom for a couple days, perhaps even a week, crafting beautiful bracelets for their family and friends. They got creative with the color sequences and designs. And now, the sad and forgotten remnants of the seven thousand rubberbands lay all over the home, sometimes in the most unlikely of places.

But the genius didn’t stop there, did it Designers? You somehow were able to fabricate the rubberbands out of some space age plasticized rubber blend that is impervious to the vacuum cleaner! Try as you may, parents, but the rubberbands won’t suck up into the vacuum cleaner for easy cleanup. Which means that we parents get to spend time on our hands and knees hand picking the small circles out of floor crevices and corners, muttering under our breath.

I know that right now, you may be ready to introduce the new spring color lineup so that we are once again inundated with the new batch of pastel colors to scrape off our shoes. But this time, we parents have wised up to your schemes and will steer our children clear from your part of the toy aisle. But, Designers, we know that you have likely covertly partnered with the Grandparents in a conspiracy against us and that somehow, someway, the new spring lineup of rubberbands will still end up in our homes.

Well played, Designers. Well played.


Duped Parents Everywhere

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