Thoughts During a Mid-Morning Coffee Break

Well, hey there. I took an unexpected break from blogging for no particular reason. There was no mini-vacation, no crazy all-night paint project, no amazing diy project to tell about (although I did purchase an extremely ugly coffee table but it remains ugly). I’ll get back to the bungalow series, right after this commercial from Anxiety Girl.

These past couple of weeks of Mama-ing have just been hard. The girls haven’t been better or worse than usual but it’s just been intense settling into a new schedule, more homework, less time, and I always feel like I’m rushing.

I wonder if Sage, my middle child, is getting enough alone time with me. And Lucy, is she eating enough fiber? Will that kiddo ever be potty-trained? Marielle is addicted to her nuk and yells at me in the car if she does’t have it. Maybe I’ve been giving her the nuk too often. She’ll probably need braces on the teeth because of the overbite she’s developing. She’s likely also developing some latent helplessness because we let her have her way all the time. Genevieve had minor ear surgery and was so hysterical that I thought the doctor would bail on us. He did snap his gloves off a couple of times and left the room because he was so frustrated. Does her anxiety come from me? Probably, which gives me another thing to feel anxious about.

How do the squirrels keep getting into our house? My diy electrical conduit-turned-curtain rods keep falling down on my head when I open the curtains in the morning. Why didn’t I buy a real rod in the first place? Oh that’s right…because a 12 foot double rod costs hundreds of dollars. For a rod. But Pinterest mislead me into thinking that electrical conduit rods are the answer.

What are my career plans? I’m paying for a masters degree without a masters’ level career, like a sucker. (Maybe that’s why I haven’t bought the curtain rod). And Genevieve and Sage want to cross the street by themselves! The nerve of those two, growing up. There’s paint spatters on my floor that I need to sand off and their existence drives me insane every time I walk past them. When will I choose paint colors for the outside of the house? It looks like a crazy cat lady lives here. Which reminds me, I think I’m behind on saving for our property taxes this year. And the idiots driving down the street at 45 mph give me an aneurism, which is why Genevieve and Sage will not cross the street alone until they are 30. What is that smell in our basement? We flushed out the basement drain and it still smells like death. It’s probably a squirrel decomposing in the drain. Also, I think the bathroom scale is broken because the numbers are going in the wrong direction. I need to get more vegetables into our diet, especially at dinnertime. Am I buying the right kind of bread for the girls’ lunches? Maybe that’s why Lucy isn’t getting enough fiber and why the scale seems broken. Stupid bread.

I should just buy a rod, hire a painter, rent a sander, employ a personal chef, build a street blockade, toss the nuks, purchase some Fiber One cereal, bake my own bread, call Roto-Rooter, start a business, buy a scale, plant a garden, and take a nap. Maybe have a glass of wine.

And all will be well.

How’s your week?


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