So we have five kids now--for awhile, that is.
At the end of April, I received an email from Safe Families about a baby boy. Safe Families is a faith based, volunteer-driven nonprofit that supports people who don't have extended family available/able to help with their children during a crises or transition. The mission of Safe Families is to create family-like support through volunteers (called Host Families) who help with children for a period of time to keep families intact. Safe Families is not foster care--it's for families seeking help for a specified period of time. For instance, a mama who is going to night school or a dad who is trying to find stable housing: they need help with their children for a period of time and they don't have a support network who can help with their children during whatever transition or crisis they're facing. Safe Families connects a family in need with a Host Family to help with their children and offer support--in other words, the Host Family becomes part of their extended family. And it's kinda brilliant, in my opinion.
We became a Host Family around five years ago and hosted a little girl who was a good friend of our daughter. It was our introduction to Safe Families and was a good learning experience for us. We've been on the Safe Families list ever since that placement, but our lives got too chaotic during the renovation and birth of our fourth child to take on another kiddo. But now that our girls are older, we were open to saying yes to another opportunity. And that's what we did--six weeks ago--with a newborn baby boy.
This is how it went down: I responded to the email about a placement for a baby boy who would be discharged from the hospital the following day. About an hour later, I was driving the girls home from school and received a phone call from the coordinator who filled me in on the details. While I was on the phone, I was keenly aware that all the girls had picked up on the meaning of this phone call and they were completely silent (except for the occasional excited giggle). When I hung up, they all started shouting and peppering me with questions. We had arrived home by then and they all burst into the house to round up every baby-related item we had. This process took approximately 5.2 seconds.
I just wish they could move that quickly when I ask them to clean their rooms.
But honestly, I was just as excited as they were. The girls also called a rare but very timely Sister Meeting to discuss important rules of engagement.
That night, Genevieve and Sage accompanied me to Target to buy diapers, a changing pad, and boy (!) clothes. After four girls, it was so strange to buy blue striped things. The next afternoon, I met baby's mama at the hospital. We hung out there and talked for an hour or two while we waited for the discharge papers from the nurse.
Now we're six weeks in and are finding our footing. Let me tell you that the newborn nightshift is not for pansies. Sure, I've been through it four times, but it really is like being hit by a bus. A very small/cute/insistent/needy bus. But the job has incredible perks and we are all obsessed with this little guy. The girls lay out his wee little outfits for the day and we all sigh and laugh when he does something adorable. We argue over whose turn it is to hold him and feed him.
But I haven't even told you the best part yet. Over the past six weeks, I've been getting to know his mama. I really like her--she's kind and a good mom and she's working her tail off to take care of herself and her babies. I admire her. And we both love that little baby and want good things for him. I've been learning a lot from her and I appreciate what that knowledge is doing in me--I think it's making me a better kind of person.
It's hard work but it's good work. I feel like we're part of something really significant. Safe Families is giving me hope for humanity--that moms and dads can get support to be the good parents they want to be and all of us have an opportunity to be part of keeping those good families together. Safe Families has 100+ chapters nationwide so there may be one near you.
Do you want to find out more about being a Host Family? Or maybe you're not sure if you can commit on that level but want to help. You can be a Family Friend, who helps out Host Families or walks alongside moms & dads to offer other kinds of support.
I know there will be more to share about this process and this little guy in the future. But starting tonight, I gotta start going to bed a whole lot earlier.
Thanks for reading.
